Free the self from impulsive actions and watch yourself become truly free.
- Jay Kumar Singh
Do you struggle with anxiety, irritation, agitation, and sudden urges to say or act disruptively? Please know you are not alone; many people struggle daily with impulse control. I sometimes look back on some of my decisions and wonder why I reacted so hastily. Just recently, I realized that I not only struggle with impulse control, I am the textbook definition of impulsive. For those unsure about impulsiveness or what it looks like, it is when you are unable or have difficulty controlling your emotions and behaviors. Long story short, are you acting or speaking before thinking? Are you not rationalizing things in your mind before deciding? Is your behavior potentially harmful to yourself or others? I know you tell yourself it’s not impulsive; it’s taking a poop and getting off the pot. Whether you are a compulsive gambler, eater, or shopper, I am here to tell you that impulsiveness may cause severe problems in the long run. It definitely did for me.
I think back to some of the biggest failures I have had in life and realize some (not all) were done on impulse. Meaning I decided or acted based on emotion with little to no self-control. I would commit myself to tasks and relationships based on my emotions for years. It did not matter that I knew the person or situation was not a good fit; for me, it worked for the moment, so that was a go. As I sit and reflect on those times, I ask, “Girl, where was your common sense”? It was in there; I did not have time to listen to it.
I will be honest with you guys and tell you that at a point in my life, I only knew how to act impulsively. I hated taking a long time to decide, I even hated when others around me took time before making decisions. I always thought, “What is the worst that could happen”? Look at me now, a divorced convicted felon. I am pretty sure this falls into the worst category. Some say, “What is so different about you now”? Long story short, I know how to manage it now. The first step was realizing that I had a problem.
Once I realized I had a severe problem, I started to look for ways to control the urges and stop letting the urges control me. Let’s be honest; no one wants to admit they have a problem. Especially one they feel they have under control. If you are having outbursts of rage, overeating, or becoming easily agitated, you do not have this under control. Please keep in mind that those are all symptoms of impulsivity. If you fit this criterion, consider some things you can do to change your impulsive nature.
Create a Healthy Outlet
Yes, I said a healthy outlet. Be careful with this; find a hobby. Something that you enjoy and something that brings peace to you. Be mindful that your hobby should not trigger any of your stressors. Whether you enjoy fishing or reading a book, please remember that you should feel at ease while in your hobby. A hobby is something that you find enjoyment in, something that allows you to relax and have a clear mind. A healthy outlet is not something that causes you strife or sparks compulsions or urges that will eventually have you acting on impulses you cannot control. The casino was my original outlet that turned into a destructive addiction. Why? Because it fueled my impulsiveness with the urge to bet more and win more, which was no longer fun but more like an addiction to a drug I needed. I thought, for some reason, I was exempt from the dangers, but I quickly found out I was not. Unfortunately, I was familiar with the dangers of gambling firsthand. With that being said,” If you are at risk for alcoholism, maybe your hobby should not be hanging out at the local bar.” When choosing a hobby, remember who you are and be true to yourself. Choose wisely. The outlet should be intended as a getaway from stress, not something that adds to your stress.
Seek Professional Help for Your Impulsiveness
The first thing I did when I realized I had a problem was, get a person to speak with that specializes in such disorders. This does not mean you cannot talk to your friends and family; I was more comfortable speaking to a professional. There may be some things you would rather discuss with someone, not in your circle. A psychotherapist can provide you privacy and the no-judgment zone you may need. There are also group therapy sessions that most health insurance companies may cover. These are helpful if you feel better surrounded by people that understand where you are because they are currently or have been where you are at a point in their lives.
There are multiple ways to cope with an impulse disorder. You have to research and choose the best technique that will work for you. If you have an extreme Impulsive disorder, seek medical advice from a healthcare professional. Trust me seeking help can save you strife in the long run.